Published: 07 March 2017
You only have to read the outpourings of these poor lost souls to see the error of your ways. But they are not alone Fred.
In the very late 60s, early 70's we welcomed the arrival of independent American Diners. Colourful, clean, quirky, with quality ground beef cooked rare, generous portions of chips and spinners with a selection of relishes, so many were seduced Fred. People just like you thinking it can do no harm, it can't be worse than Bernie Inn,
But where did it lead Fred? The ubiquity of the "hamburger" (a name which fails to differentiate between sandwich and filling), the cultural imperialism of McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Chicken, french fries! idleness and obesity, failing health, the NHS pushed to the point of breakdown, and corporate America, champing at the bit to be awarded lucrative franchises from the remnants. Sad, broken people watching on late night television the fractured sporadic activity by men wearing shoulder pads and crash helmets and being prepared to believe that it's football.
Its a big price to pay Fred. The nation so far has held firm against maple syrup substitute and cream on streaky bacon. we don't eat Monteray Jack and call it cheese, we still have fruit and seeds in jam but it will come Fred. All it takes to start is one or two to suggest that Peanut butter and Jelly is an acceptable comestible and the snowball starts rolling. Already there will be people exploiting the naivety of children, not only feeding them peanut butter but boiling a confusing array of reclaimed meats in a plastic skin, serving them in over sugared rolls and calling them hot dogs, people putting a confection called "mayo " and "cheese" on chicken sandwiches. Being a Vegie wont protect you Fred, its your soul they're after. Repent! Cast that peanut butter aside, be firm. Hot toast and Marmite, coarse cut orange marmalade, anchovies and capers, grilled bananas and brown sauce. You know its right.