Published: 15 August 2019
American IPA from Wadworth. Now there's a name to conjure with.
"Never '"erd of 'em." said Max.
"That Max is because your only 12 and not well travelled, Wadworth's is a Wiltshire beer..."
"I thought said Max "that you said I was 84 on my last birthday"
"Well in dog years yes but your only 12 in human ..."
"And I've been every where you've been for those last 84 years"
"Yes but I've not been much abroad either these last 12..."
"84" said Max, "84 years plus a few."
"Well 84 to you Max but only 12 for me."
"Have we been in each other company for the same length of time or not?" said Max.
"And has that length of time been my whole life?" said Max rather irritably.
"Er, yes I suppose it has, bar the first 12 weeks".
"Year and a half", said Max.
"What? You probably don't remember, it was only 12 weeks before..."
"My memory's fine." said Max,. Just trying to be consistent, if 12 years is 84 years then 12 weeks is 84 weeks, which i think you'll find is more than 18 months."
"Nobody likes a smart arse Max".
"Are you saying that nobody like me?
"No Max, I just mean.."
"Because" said Max "every time we go to the pub, and I mean any pub that we go to, someone, and as often as not some two or some three, says what a splendid dog I am, and more often than not, they proceed to behave inappropriately which I do like, whereas I am pushed to remember a single occasion when anyone, and that is any one, singular, numero uno, has given you so much as the time of day, still less behaved inappropriately."
"Ok Max, "You've made your point, you are a handsome brute"
"So", said Max "to return to the point, if I'm 84 years old, plus a bit, it follows that you have not been much about for 84 years too."
Well it does sometimes feel like it Max The last time I was in Wiltshire I was working for the County Council and Suzie was with me."
"Suzie who" said Max.
"Do you know, I've forgotten her full name, something or other Pandora's Box out of something or other Champion Jack Tar and Summer Storm of Tosari".
"Oh" said Max, "one of those."
"She was a thoroughbred Max, if thats what you mean, registered with the kennel club and everything."
"Yeeees " said Max slowly, "and I suppose she knew all about Wadworth's?"
"I'm not sure she did Max. Unlike you she was a drinker but she stuck mostly to Young's ordinary." I was in reminiscence mode now, "She fell in the Lea one night after a drink or two in the Prince of Wales, only a pup at the time."
"Not 84 then?"
"And she could remember her own name?"
"And the names of old friends too?" said Max"
"I expect so" said I feeling rather embarrised.
Max was silent for a while.
"Did she like dog treats in the pub?" said Max.
"They didn't do treats in the pubs then Max."
"Well they do now" said Max and I think in dog years I probably haven't had one for at least a month and a quarter"
Beer and biscuits
- Ludlow Blondes
- Ilkley Summer
- Midnight Owl
- Dancing Duck
- Bass in the Chestnut
- Harvest Pale
- Slap in the Face
- Elsie Mo
- Green King IPA
- The Famous Grouse
- Snowhite Pale
- Electric Dreams
- Theakston's Old Peculiar
- Bass - King's Head
- Speculation Ale
- Summer Storm
- Black Sheep
- Citra - The Embankment
- Butcombe Original
- Oakham Citra
- Catch the Rain
- Modern Love
- Postcode Envy
- Shipstones' Goldstar
- American IPA
- Brother Rabbit
- La Dame Aux Camilias - Alexandre Dumas
- Turn of the Screw - Henry James
- The Beast in the Jungle - Henry James (1903)
- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Caroll 1807
- Man and Maid - Elinor Glyn (1922)
- The Hollow Needle - Maurice Leblanc = 1909
- Montpelier Parade - Karl Geary
- Five Run Away Together. - Enid Blyton
- Dracula - Bram Stoker - 1897
- Days Without End - Sebastion Barry (2016)
- The Witch Finders's Sister
- A Week in December - Sebastian Faulks
- The Devil and Miss Prym - Paul Coelho - 2000
- The Long and Winding Road - A Memoir (Alan Johnson 2016)
- William (Richmal Crompton 1929)