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Bass in the Chestnut Radcliffe on Trent

A rather fine pint of 'Bass' in the rather empty Chestnut in Radcliffe. The bar staff deliver a guided tour of the one way system. Cash is accepted and the barmaid tells me that Monday to Wednesday they are exceptionally busy courtesy of the government's eat for victory campaign.

"But no dog treats." said Max.

"No indeed Max, they are unable to offer dog treats due to the rules on contact".

"The what? I don't recall any rules that particularly impact the distribution of dog treats." said Max.

"Well if you think about it serving dog treats involves human contact with said comestible, unlike Sunday lunch."

"So you've become a self appointed apologist for thoughtless cost cutting?"

"Be fair Max, there is a real but avoidable hazard here."

"A real but avoidable cost." said Max , "Serving dog treats is surely no different from dining with the Devil."

"I'm sorry?"

"All that is required" said Max, "is a long spoon."

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